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I made the mistake of reading a particular LJ tonight. I had stopped reading this LJ some time ago, because the author's obliviousness irritated me so (and there is some bad blood between us that dates back to blee blee blah). I clicked through on someone else's friend page tonight, however, and there she was, as oblivious and self-satisfied as ever.

Oh my God, why does she piss me off so much? I used to suspect it was that her flaws reminded me of my own, but I've changed my mind. It's legitimate irritation, folks! So, for that realization, it was worth a little further irritation.

And what is so irritating, exactly? There are a few concrete examples--she touts her anti-consumerism but every post contains Kate Spade or Fendi or Coach or Banana Republic--but for the most part it's a cumulative mountain of poorly disguised self-righteousness. She has an opinion about everything, but is rarely informed. She's self-conscious enough to drape her sentiments in words of (what she thinks is) inclusion, but she's so damn artless about it! It's clear that she's dying to say what she really thinks, but is just self-aware enough to know she shouldn't reveal how high her opinion of herself is. Which she would, were she to write plainly what she thinks instead of carefully crafting an image of herself for her audience.

Reading her entries, one gets a clear sense of a woman who is carefully choosing her words to give a certain impression of herself. She wants everyone to think of her as spiritual (but not, gods forbid, religious--that would be way uncool), above pettiness and self-pity, someone who has overcome terrible circumstances (she's short! her parents are divorced! she had a lousy relationship once! did she mention she's short?) to become the hip, young, DESIRABLE newlywed she is. She wants to give the impression that she either has or is on her way to having everything she's ever wanted (and her want, her sense of entitlement, is awesome to behold). It's almost comical that the overall effect of her writing is to give an impression that is just the opposite. She is the epitome of self-absorption.

Someday I want to write a novella or a screenplay about someone like her. It would not be without a certain empathy.

And just because I know how it can be, she's not on my friends list (and I am most certainly not on hers), so if you're reading this, you know it isn't about you.