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But Tuesday's Just as Bad

Sorry to hear that Sean Taylor didn't make it. A short, tough life brought to a violent end.

On the way in to work (only a 1-hawk morning on MoPac, alas), I was thinking about something my stepmother told me years ago when my ex-husband and I were separated, but the possibility of reconciliation still hung in the air. "If you love him, treat him that way," she said, "and that's the best you can do."

In that case, it didn't, and couldn't, work. Too much damage had been done over the years, and mostly by me. But right now, with R., I know I did my best. I never treated him with anything less than love -- pure, honest love. In fact, I was brave, and laid myself right out like Isaac on the altar. I feel somewhat flayed at the moment, but I'm alive, and, like the song says, "But I won't let it change me/Not if I can/I'd rather believe in love."

And give it away, as much as I can, to those I am fondest of. . . .


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 27th, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC)
Lauri, I think your bravery is awesome. It is so much better (imho) to have loved and lost than the alternative. Alive, and how!
Nov. 27th, 2007 04:45 pm (UTC)
Aw, sorry for the pain, Lauri. I think it's amazing that you are not cynical in spite of the heartbreak. I know I have a hard time not becoming cynical now and again. So, smooch!

Also, I will be in Austin at the end of December and if I could meet you, it'd be pretty cool. I don't know what my schedule will be like but email me, why dontcha? There's an email function here on lj and I'll email you from my private addy afterward, okay?
Nov. 27th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
I think times like these, when you were open and true, are when you're most alive. It hurts like hell, but you say it yourself: you're alive. "ALIVE AND KICKIN!!" If I may enter 1985 for a moment.
Nov. 27th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
Awwww...Lau...I'm sorry...
*sending you bunchah parisian smoochies*

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )