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(Yet Another) Late Night

Early morning. Something. This is just a boring-ass vent about my thing with the thing, so don't read it.

It's mah laig! Well, hip, actually. I cannot lie down for more than an hour or so before it wakes me with a dull throbbing that demands movement. It's like the jimmy legs, but with the added bonus of pain. RLS, now with improved discomfort!

So this has been going on for weeks now, and I've forgotten what it's like to lie down, fall asleep, and wake up 8 or 7 or even 5 hours later. I have discovered a comfortable position, though -- unfortunately it's on the couch, and I can't seem to recreate it on my bed, not even with bunches of pillows. And when I'm out here on the couch, Robby won't stop gazing beseechingly at me, and Jeff walks through every half hour or so, and the cats occasionally jump on my head, so I usually end up watching basketball or old movies on TCM all night.

I have a new anti-inflammatory waiting for me at Walgreen's, but I'm dragging my feet (or foot HA HA) because they usually do a number on my stomach. This one's called Mobic. What were they trying to evoke with that name, I wonder? Because it sounds like the name of a Dada artist.

My orthopedist took X-rays and nothing showed up. He's perplexed by the nature of the injury. It's almost like the actual bone is protesting when it's unsupported. I'm just relieved to hear it isn't arthritis, because that was the worst I had imagined, until --

"This is nonstandard," he says. "Why don't we schedule an MRI, just to rule out any--" and he pauses and I rush in to start the next sentence and we leave the end of that one unsaid, because NO WAY it's anything like that, right? And even if it were, no point in saying it out loud until we have to! I have allowed myself to imagine absurd scenarios where I have some sort of bone-eating disease, and I've decided that I could deal with my leg breaking and becoming useless, but I would prefer for it to stay attached if at all possible. Unless I couldn't walk, in which case, fine, lop it off, and I'll get one of those Gazelle prosthetics that look all springy and Danish modern.

Rahhhrrr, why isn't it getting any better? I wonder if I should take to drink?